How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others and Be the Best You Can Be
I was working with one of my clients at the gym — who’s in her 70s — when she started looking around at the other women working out nearby. “I’m looking at these young girls and they’re doing all these things. And I’m thinking to myself, I’ll never be able to do these things,” she told me. “I’m feeling very old.”
She is a remarkable woman who is starting to work out for the first time at 71 — an age when many people think your chance at fitness is long over. She had grown by leaps and bounds in our time working together. She could not possibly expect to be at the same level with women who were a third her age and had been working out all of their lives! And yet, here she was, doing just that.
So, I had her walk straight up to the full-length mirror against the gym wall and told her to look her reflection straight in the eye. “That is the only person you should be comparing yourself to,” I told her. “That is the only person you should be looking at. That is the only person in the entire world exactly like you.”
Being healthy and fit isn’t just about having a healthy body. It’s also about having a healthy mind. But so often, I hear clients being so hard on themselves. We must get to the point of accepting ourselves and loving ourselves, flaws and all. We all have flaws, and that’s what makes us beautiful human beings. Life is about learning to love yourself, flaws and all.
When I find it hard to accept myself like that – yes, it happens to me too – I look to my daily affirmations:
I am good enough.
I am capable.
I deserve this.
I don’t care what others think.
I’m doing this just for me.
I take control of my life.
I’m happy, positive and determined.
Nothing and nobody is going to stop me.
But you don’t have to use my examples — come up with a few of your own! Stand in front of a mirror and read them daily to yourself. Even if you don’t believe the words in the beginning, act as if you do until you finally believe them! When you do it often enough, you can see how positive words can have an impact on your mindset. If you say, “I’m good enough,” you start believing you’re good enough. Remember, the same thing happens if you say, “I’m not good enough.”
Beauty as we know, comes in all shapes and sizes. Beauty comes from just being who you are. So, every time you feel yourself thinking, “Oh I’m stupid,”or, “I’ll never be able to do it,” flip it and make it positive talk. Then, go to the mirror and look at yourself. It’s really important for people to look at themselves when they’re saying their affirmations. Look at yourself in the eye and say, “I love you.”
If that makes you uncomfortable, spend some time reflecting on those feelings. The only thing we have control over in our life is our inner world. It’s about how we choose to direct our thoughts.
So — will you choose the positive? Or the negative? It’s all up to you!